Yes, one of the most popular ongoing skits on Saturday Night Live in the early years was that of the fabulous Festrunk brothers, Yortuk and Georg, from Bratislava played by Dan Akroyd and Steve Martin. Funny, I was in a hat shop today, and found the same hats that they wore in the skit. It seems they are still wearing them here, they are actually women’s hats. The irony is that these two fictional brothers go to New York City in search of foxes when Bratislava is literally crawling with lovely women.
Fiftieth Country Visited!
Now for the BIG NEWS. Slovakia is my 50th. country visited in my lifetime, and that puts me halfway to my goal of 100 in my five-year world tour. Things started out beautifully on this momentous occasion. A local lady and owner of the Zeppelin Cafe was kind enough to offer me a lift from the train station to my hostel.
Then I met the nicest trio of young Welshmen at Hostel Blues, who immediately dubbed me as their hero for my engaging in my five-year travel commitment. I had truly met some wild and crazy guys that would give the Festrunk brothers a run for their money. Jamie and Mike were brothers, and Matt was the beer drinkingest young man I have encountered since I was his age. Even though I don’t drink any longer, I went along on their pub crawl to celebrate my landmark milestone, to live vicariously through their experience, and enjoy their company. Mike bore an uncanny resemblance to Russel Brand and was in truly fine form for it was he who kicked off the evening with an off-color remark about the toilet paper where we were staying. Something about it being so thin that he had inadvertently given himself a prostate exam in the process of wiping himself. I hadn’t been this amused since I was introduced to Monty Python in the prefect room of a British boarding school in the early Seventies. Much to my surprise, I was able to share with them a Welsh sheep shagging joke that they had not heard before.
Jamie & Mike
The Pub Crawlin’ Kinnear Brothers
Mike then went on that evening to set a personal best in the makeout department with three different very attractive girls all in our group. It was very impressive indeed especially given the condition he was in. Matt was pretty lit even before we hit the clubs, and the fact that he managed to survive the experience was a testament to his fortitude. Jamie was the soberest of the bunch just in case of emergency. He did end up dancing with one of the most seductive and alluring dancers I have encountered in my travels. We were trying to determine if she was for hire or not. Mike and I eventually lost track of Jamie and Matt, but we returned to the hostel with our new Danish pals at about 3 am.
It was at this point when Mike, not quite satisfied with his necking hat trick, tried to persuade the girl on duty at the hostel to be his fourth conquest of the evening, to no avail. Frankly, she was not anywhere near up to the quality of the targets of his prior tonsil tickling so it would have only served to degrade an otherwise perfect trio. It certainly was an evening of many accomplishments, and amazingly there was no vomiting involved whatsoever. At least none that I bore witness to. Sadly I don’t have pictures of the madcap evening since I was dragged away on the Pub Crawl without my camera or even a coat.
The National Theater
OUR TOUR GUIDE
HVIEZDOSLAV – Statue of a famous Slovak writer
A Pretty Square
The cannonball embedded in the side of the building was courtesy of Napoleon Bonaparte
The weather started to get ugly so I jumped in a cab and headed back to the hostel before the downpour. I tipped the tour guide before running off. I’m not a douche.
This obsequies joker had the hots for a lady who spurned him, so he ran around town tipping his hat to the rest of the women in town, trying to make her jealous.
Napoleonic Soldier in front of the French Embassy
HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSON
RUB HIS HEAD FOR GOOD LUCK
Blocking the UFO Bridge
THE UFO BRIDGE
BRATISLAVA CASTLE – Built 9th.-18th. Century – Unfortunately it was mostly destroyed in then rebuilt 1956-64, and only one of the original towers remains. Also known as the upside-down table.
SCULPTURE – Made entirely out of recycled tires.
DEVIN CASTLE – Outside of Bratislava – Built 864-15th. Century – Blown up in 1809 Napoleonic Wars
IMPLEMENTS OF THE DAY
AUTHENTICALLY STYLED CHESS SET
Maiden Tower on the left with the Danube in the background.
It was a beautiful day for a wedding at the castle.