My visit here just three months ago was so delightful that I couldn’t stay away. The Dream Hostel helped to make the visit ideal since it has the best staff, accommodations, guests, and vibe of just about any place I have stayed in Europe. I took note that they have an excess of hostels in Ukraine so I will definitely be planning a trip to that neighborhood at some point in the future.
One place that I missed on my previous visit to Prague was a visit to the 2nd largest Nuclear Bunker in Europe. A photo of the entry was featured as the teaser for this entry. It spans a full kilometer underground. Given issues with global warming and impending calamities, I’m surprised some real estate developer hasn’t bought it and created an underground community for life in the post-apocalyptic world. There are a number of such offerings in the United States for the wealthy. The fortified condos in the US offer everything from movie theaters to luxury accommodations with scrubbed air and the security of Fort Knox. Why are they so popular back in the states?
I guess the road to dystopia seems to be growing shorter in America given the unfortunate political climate, and the fact that there is a severely damaged and mentally ill individual currently at the helm. In my travels, I manage to stay a few steps ahead of the nightmarish cultural meltdown that has gripped my country of origin and turned it into a veritable reality TV show. It plays 24/7 and you can’t change the channel. It’s like the Truman Show except it’s all about an orange-faced, bloated, evil bastard, his mutant spawn, trophy wife, and a group of fawning, obsequious, enablers that make up the bulk of the Republican Party.
It’s just such a relief to steer clear of the polarized pit of despair that the USA has been reduced to by that scuzzy, carnival barker, rodeo clown, McDonald’s munching, sower of chaos, lies, racism, and hate. What was once a beacon of democracy, has been transformed into a corrupt, oligarchic, corporatized, borderline dystopia, and shooting gallery whose former motto “E Pluribus Unum” has been replaced with “Profits Before People.”
I’ve always felt that there are few hairstyles that look more foolish on Caucasians than dreadlocks. One such example presented itself as I awaited my flight to Prague. The person attempting to offset the ravages of male pattern baldness has taken this to great lengths by wrapping his lengthy dreads into an enormous man bun that bore an unfortunate resemblance of something one might see left behind on a sidewalk by an enormous Great Dane.
Seriously, why would anyone want to wander about with a bloody great pile of crap stuck to the back of their head?
THE NATIONAL MUSEUM
OUR TOUR GUIDE
FORMER SOVIET INTERROGATION CENTER
JEFFREY EPSTEIN DANGLES IN THE DISTANCE
BIZARRE SOVIET ERA RADIO TOWER – The locals hate it, but I find appeal in its oddity. I think it really works in black and white as well.
ENTRANCE TO THE NUCLEAR BUNKER – 2ND. LARGEST IN EUROPE
This flimsy door obscures an 18″ thick behemoth that serves as the entry. A picture will be forthcoming upon exiting the bunker.
GIANT STALIN HEAD FROM BEHEMOTH STATUE
XBOX 360 LIVE – XBOX did a promotion down in this bunker. This place looks like something you would see in a video game.
LEFTOVER MUNITIONS
ONE OF SIX TOILETS FOR 1500 PEOPLE
They were careful to provide flimsy pull-cords for fear that some of the occupants might consider suicide should they believe their loved ones had not survived the blast.
Hey, listen up! Don’t make me use this thing.
WORLD TIMES
SERIOUS DECONTAMINATION – No entry to the facility without a serious scrub down.
People had very little space, and the shelter was only meant to be occupied for 2-3 weeks.
GAS MASKS FOR THE ADULTS
GAS MASKS FOR THE KIDDIES
GAS MASK ENCLOSURE FOR INFANTS – FOOT PUMP INCLUDED
NARROW ALLEY TO THE AIR TREATMENT PLANT
GIANT FILTERS WERE CHANGED HERE
Once the filters become dirty and clogged, they would switch to a closed system where they would pump in oxygen.
POISON GAS COUTURE
NUCLEAR BLAST RADIUS CHART – Surely a real comfort to the occupants of the shelter. They could have at least provided them some darts to cheer things up!
Don’t worry, people, I haven’t gone all Patty Hearst on your asses. I’m just enjoying handling the legendary AK-47, and securing one of those rare “worthwhile” selfies.
The next time I’m in Lithuania or Prague, I’m going to shoot one of these things.
BASEMENT EXIT – The irony is that this lower exit door is at street level because this stupid shelter is imbedded in a hill. Not far from this door you can hear cars go by and catch a viable cellular signal. The whole place is essentially a bunch of bullshit propaganda meant to lull the population into a false sense of security, much like our ridiculous duck and cover drills featured on TV in the early Sixties. Basically, schoolchildren were instructed to hide under their desks and cover their heads with their hands. That really sounds effective, doesn’t it? So the Soviets were dishing out their own nonsense about this ineffective facility while it turns out that the Metro was easier to access and in all likelihood safer than this crowded nightmare.
Back in the nineties, some idiot got separated from their group and was left behind in the bunker. Unfortunately, back in those days, they ran tours far less frequently. By the time they returned to the place three weeks later all they found was a corpse. I still don’t understand that nobody thought to look in the bunker when the person turned up missing.
Here the 18″ thick behemoth I promised. Needless to say, anyone trapped in here is not getting out.
ANOTHER ANGLE OF MY RADIO TOWER
ČEZETA – This Czech scooter was born in 1957, and was affectionately nicknamed “The Pig,” due to its pronounced, snout-like headlight. It’s like what would happen if a ’57 had sex with a Vespa. A British resident of Prague has resurrected the beloved bike in a battery-powered version with all the bells and whistles. It maintains all of its original, excentric, Fifties aesthetic although the price is very 21st century.
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